Today has been one of those days…you know, the kind where you want to go back to bed and start your day all over again fresh. The kids are especially unnerving, the house should be declared a disaster area, and sleep deprived doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling.
Actually, I think I’m having one of those months. It seems the harder I try to lift myself up, the further I sink. I confess that I have been feeling sorry for myself lately…and I’ve been struggling with anger and resentment. I hate that feeling and I hate that I’ve internalized so much of it. I’m sorry for the ill will I’ve wished upon some but I’m only sorry for the anger in as much as I’ve let it affect me. In other words, I’m not sorry that I am angry. I’m just sorry that it’s become my excuse to sin.
There is such a thing as righteous anger. Even Jesus got angry and the Bible says, “In your anger, do not sin.” It does NOT say, “Don’t get angry.” So I’m not apologizing for being upset. What I see happening around me is not honest and forthcoming but deceitful and secretive. I want to scream from the rooftops at times declaring the injustice of it all. It’s turning me inside out and bitter.
Then I think of Jesus. He is my rock and my shelter. No matter what I face, he suffered far more. He is well acquainted with my hardship and I’m ashamed of my petty complaints. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame.
Sunday morning before communion we heard Isaiah 53. I love that passage. He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities. Yet He opened not his mouth. I’m wounded and bruised but unlike Jesus I have opened my mouth. Thank God that Jesus withstood temptation and loved us enough to die in our place even when we did not love Him back. Thank God that by His stripes we are healed.
My wonderful husband posted a video clip on his blog that I’d like to share with you here. It encouraged me and I imagine it can do the same for you. If you are struggling with something today, or any day, hand it over to the One who lifts us up out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire…The One who sets our feet upon the rock and gives us a firm place to stand. He will never leave you nor forsake you. As you face the day, please join me in praying this prayer:
LORD, help me to love as you love, to forgive as you forgive, and to die to myself. You gave the ultimate sacrifice. Help me be eternally grateful and never forget that. Help me to do what is right in the face of suffering and persecution. Help me to follow You wherever You would lead me. I want to trust You completely, totally, unashamedly. Help me to find that same joy in the midst of my trials and sorrows. Thank you for loving me so much in spite of my failings and welcoming me with open arms and immeasurable grace. May I forever depend on You and remain in Your love. Amen.
Justin’s blog: http://wedotherightthing.blogspot.com