Well, it’s Mother’s Day weekend. I just want everybody to know that I got the pick of the litter! (Jealous? You should be. ;-)) We’ve been known to butt heads (because we’re both stubborn that way…it’s a family trait. ;-)) but I wouldn’t want any other mother. I’m very proud to call her mine.
What can I say about her? She’s real and authentic. She’s bold and daring. She’s inventive. When she sets her mind to do something, you can be sure it will be done (and she probably has a role for you too!). She tells it like it is…calls them like she sees them. She’s funny and witty. But her very best quality is her love. She loves deeply. It’s not the kind of “touchy, feely” love that some mothers have. She doesn’t gush over you or smother you with hugs and kisses. It’s more secretive. She loves quietly, patiently, willingly. She loves in the things she DOESN’T do. She doesn’t cling. She doesn’t hover. She doesn’t try to run your life. Instead she lets go and respects your choices. Oh, don’t get me wrong. She’s happy to lend her opinion but in the end, she knows it’s your life.
This past year she had to let go in a really big way. In a heartbreaking way. Our whole family did but on the occasion of Mother’s Day, the pain of that reality weighs heaviest on her shoulders. You see, she lost her only son. Some wounds cut deep and take a lifetime to heal. Some wounds are only truly understood by those who’ve experienced the same thing. I can’t imagine losing a child, even an adult child. She wasn’t supposed to have to grieve her son. It betrays the natural order of life…and it’s so horribly unfair.
Matt, being the only son, shared a special bond with mom that can never be replaced or duplicated. He was much like her, the optimist, the free spirit. He doted on mom especially on holidays and occasions like today. I did good to send a card or give her a phone call. He sent flowers and gifts. He was so proud of his “Mama”. So, naturally her first Mother’s Day without him will remind her of that void much like my birthday did for me. If I never heard from my brother all year, I could rest confident in the fact that he’d call me on my birthday. He always did. But not this year. Never again in this life. Thankfully that’s not the end of the story. We will see him again. But for now we must remain patient.
Mom, I love you. You are strong, courageous, and faithful. You’ve been there for us all these years and continue to be there now. As you face this day meant for celebrating carrying a mournful heart, I pray that you will recall happy times that bring you joy and not sadness. But if that sadness should come, I pray that you will share it and not hide it for you are not alone. Matt loved you so very much and he was so very proud of you. So am I. You are an amazing Mama and I dearly love you. He lives on in our hearts and today I picture him saying, “Mama, please don’t cry. I’ve got a beautiful bouquet up here waiting for you that will never spoil, wilt, or fade. I arranged it myself from my Father’s garden. Just wait until you see it!”