There's more to me than "Mommy"…but not by much!

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Order! I will have order in my house! April 20, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — stephaniesings @ 5:16 pm
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Chocolate syrup on the mattress.  Broken window.  Crayon markings on the walls.  Clutter EVERYWHERE!  Never ending laundry and dishes.  And the disorder is not limited physically.  Sibling rivalry, tantrums, me constantly sounding like a broken record, potty training challenges (which exacerbates the laundry condition, not to mention the nerves).  AND I’d like my and my darling husband’s relationship to include more than being mere roommates.  (In no way am I suggesting this is his fault.  He is wonderful.  Our marriage is quite solid which is why I’d like more time alone with him.  Life just is what it is right now.)

Typical responses from others that are not helpful:  “Keep a positive attitude.  Concentrate on the good.  Be patient; it will get better with time.  Don’t lose your sense of humor.  Justin should be helping you more.  This is another reason why you don’t need to homeschool.”, etc.  Advice about what I’m doing wrong and how to fix it; criticisms or judgmentalism about what an untidy house I keep or my kids’ behavior do NOT help.  It’s not funny anymore and I don’t have the energy nor willpower to improve my attitude.  My patience is gone.

There is a time and a place for suggestions but I don’t want to hear it right now.  I already know that I’m a contributor to the problem and I could do better.  For instance, I could refrain from writing this and get back to the task at hand.  I need more self-discipline, I admit it.  Just let me vent for now, PLEASE.

I’m a mother of 3 children ages 5, 3 1/2, and 2.  Just when one begins to lessen the frequency of an inappropriate or annoying behavior, the next one picks it up.  I love my kids.  I like having them at home and enjoy spending time with them.  They bring me great joy and are as sweet as pie.  I just feel like other families “have it all together” and here I am drowning in chaos and hanging on to a thread of sanity.

The stress level in my house (not to mention my mind) is enormous and overwhelming.  I feel like I’m being hit from every side and have had my fill of it.  Something has to change and fast.  I keep thinking if I could just get the house under control PHYSICALLY, then I could take control of the intangible problems we’re facing.  But there always seems to be some “fire to put out”…appointments to be made or kept, errands to run, applications to fill out, dinner to cook, laundry to do, kids in need of something at the most inconvenient times.  {Even as I’m typing this, one is running through the house while another begins to cry under toe (our little drama queen)}.  So, the physical aspect doesn’t improve and projects that I hope to undertake wait yet another day.  I’m tired of being the hose…or is God the hose?  Yes, I suppose God is the hose.  I’m tired of being the fireman.

So now I’m labeled “the complainer” or “the downer” that no one wants to be around or the one who needs serious help.  I DO need serious help but not in the form of mere words.  Come walk in my shoes for a day, nay, a week and then tell me what I should do.  But that’s another thing, why do I care what other people think?  Why do I compare myself to others who “have it all together”?  Give it to God, you say.  I know.  I’m a huge advocate of that advice and I’m trying to heed it.  But for now, I’ll pound my gavel, do what I can to improve…and pray, pray, pray.

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Longing for Simplicity December 20, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — stephaniesings @ 5:07 am
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Do you ever long for a simpler life only to have it elude you?  There are days when I think my life IS simple.  I mean, we don’t have cable television, internet, or even a “land-line” at home.  We own one cell phone and it’s JUST a phone.  No camera, no “i”-thingy…just dial and converse.  But just because you live a life absent of technology doesn’t mean your living a “simple” life.  Then I wonder, is there even any such thing?

What is a simple life anyway?  Does it sound boring to you?  I confess that there are days when yes, I think it sounds boring and I think it sounds absolutely fantastic!  Less laundry, less dishes, less clutter, less noise, less stress.  What’s not to like?

With our family of five (consisting mostly of those age three and under) I’m always up to my ears in laundry.  Each of my kids probably has more clothes than me and my husband combined (and they are unquestionably better dressed!).  So naturally I think, “OK, this is ridiculous!  Sadie doesn’t need all these things.  We are keeping only enough outfits for a week of wearing and getting rid of everything else!”  But the “everything else” she has is so cute and she looks like such a doll in all of it!  How can I part with that?  Then we’re back to square one.  Laundry…still a problem.

And what of the dishes?  Have you ever said, “This is your cup for the day.  If you want a drink later, you better keep up with your cup!”  I don’t know about your little ones but mine can lose a cup in ten seconds or less…but where do they go?!  Of course, they are also thirsty every 15 minutes of every day…particularly at bedtime (but that’s another story).  My point is I get tired of doing dishes!  So I think, if there are fewer dishes, I won’t have as many to wash.  The problem is I’m what you’d call a “wanna-be-chef-extraordinaire” coupled with a “wanna-be-hostess with the mostest”.  I’ve got all kinds of kitchen gadgets…and stoneware (don’t get me started on the stoneware!)…among other things.  We even have china that has never come out of the box!…ever!…and we’ve been married for over 5 years!  (And you are crazy if you think I’m taking it out of the box now!  Jo-jo just broke an ornament this morning.  I’m not risking my good naked china to a 2 year old’s imagination.)  So the long and short of it is, there’s plenty of things in the kitchen I don’t use.  I just can’t get rid of any of it.  Kitchen…strike two.

Toys.  Need I say more?  See if this sounds familiar…I pick up all the toys in the living room (aka. LR) and put them in the toy chest.  Vaccuum.  Proceed to kitchen to tackle dishes when kids wake from nap.  Send them (kids, not dishes) to LR while I load the beast (aka. dishwasher).  Five to ten minutes later, the toy chest has vomitted all over my living room floor.  Kids run from the Beast (that would be me…losing my temper…again).  Easy solution:  Fewer toys=Beast.  Have you ever weeded through your kids toys?  Does it seem to you like they multiply?  Is there a mouse in my house trading toys for sippee cups?  Curious.  Puzzling.  And that toy over there, I know I got rid of it last week!  How did it get here?  From whence did it come?!

Yes, simplicity eludes me.  You know, I don’t really think it exists.  Atleast, not in the way we typically mean.  To me, “simple” implies easy, worry-free, problem-free.  Who in the world doesn’t have any problems?  My guess is they’re either in a stupor (there’s a problem!) or they’re not really living (another problem).  Life is messy.  So if my house is in any way reflective of my life, then I must be really living!  What does your house say about you?  Mine says, “We live here!”